Alpine Lake Eyes

I step back
And I look at me
looking at you

And I see
that perhaps; 
I was just seeing
something untrue.

Adjectives of praise
and a million accolades
Magic and wonder
And a sky filled with thunder-

Yes, I found shelter
under your awning
But then I was pushed
pushed
pushed into the storm 

without even a whisper, 
not just one tiny whisper, 
of warning.

But

Maybe it’s my fault? Maybe it was me?
Maybe I praised your everything, your million accolades..
When you had only one,
Only one, two, or three.

And maybe my eyes were closed
Open only when you shimmered-
Like that one grey fish I saw that one time in that one stream, his back painted with a single silver stripe- 
Which only became visible
just when the right light flickered.

But that right light was wrong- 
Only revealing things which were good
Though I wouldn’t flick the switch back then, or right now, nor ever-
even 
if I could.

Because knowing what I know now-
Seeing reality bleed to the surface
I know for a fact:
that seeing you,
like t h a t,
Did both you and I
And the world of writing, thinking, dreaming, feeling, growing, creating, being, and healing
a great 
great
service.

"Take your broken heart
and make it into art!”, sweet Meryl once said,
And just like fuel for a fire, with all my heart’s pieces at my disposal,
I’ve been so, so, so, very,
very well fed.

Now rest in peace,
And close 
those Alpine lake eyes,

Rest in peace,
and rest alone,
Under 1am skies.